Filed by Puck, Resident Coffee Cat and Head of Unscheduled Night Operations.The night shift begins
The house is silent. Everyone is asleep. This is obviously a problem.
Puck has been awake for several minutes, studying the darkness and considering his responsibilities. Is the sofa still climbable? Does gravity still work? Can a coffee cup move from the counter to the floor without human assistance?
There is only one professional way to find out.
Quality control escalates
A soft tap becomes a committed push. The cup moves. The beans scatter. Gravity passes another surprise inspection.
Puck leaves the scene at moderate speed, satisfied that the household’s physical laws remain fully operational. Somewhere upstairs, a human opens one eye and quietly revises tomorrow’s energy forecast.
The human countermeasure
The alarm is technically unnecessary. Nicolaj reaches the kitchen, surveys the evidence and chooses the only sensible response: grinder on, portafilter ready, espresso machine warm.
The first shot of the day is not a lifestyle accessory. It is incident response.
Puck watches from a safe distance with the calm expression of someone who has already completed a productive morning. The espresso arrives. Order returns. Nobody discusses who knocked over what.
Cats. Coffee. Questionable timing.
This is episode one of Brew Uncut’s new mini-series about the small domestic disasters behind better coffee. Puck handles the night shift. Nicolaj handles extraction.